There was once an Irishman called Harry, now Harry was only half Irish (on his mother's side), but he had all of the luck. He had three children, Harry the eldest, Elsie in the middle and Roy the baby. Harry was a miner, he worked hard for his family, but he liked a drink and he liked a bet. He was a very happy man who never worried.
Now although he worked hard for his family they didn't have much money and Harry and his family lived in a time before the welfare state, the mines were privately owned and times were tough. Once when times were especially hard Harry and his friend came upon an idea, the originator of this idea was a few too many drinks. They would steal a sheep, a bit of mutton would go down well. They agreed with another friend, a local butcher that he would butcher the sheep in return for a share. Alcohol made all of this seem like a very good idea, so on a cold winters night the adventurers set forth. The butcher went to await their return and Harry and his friend went in search of some sheep.
Having found a field that contained the animals they were after they started to chase them around and around. The adventurers didn't have a rope, they didn't have anything with which to catch a sheep. So around and around they went, chasing the sheep in the wet field in the dark. Maybe one would get tired and just give up! So they would herd them all together and then the sheep would make a break for it and the dance would start again. But did these would be sheep rustlers give up, no they did not, the thought of some free mutton drove them on. Eventually the intoxicated pair managed to catch one of the older animals and hanging on they brought it to the ground. But what to do now, with no rope to lead it how would they get the animal to the waiting butcher.
Then Harry was struck by inspiration, he knew how to move the animal. Leaving his friend hanging on for dear life Harry made his way home. Now, when he got there he went for a vehicle to put the sheep in, and what do you think it was? It was the baby's pram. He also took some blankets, the baby's bonnet and a hammer with which to render the animal senseless. He made his way back to his friend in the field, who was now beginning to tire from wrestling his future dinner. He lifted the pram over fences, through gates and over muddy fields, finally he made it. The animal was swiftly knocked out and together they lifted it into the pram, they laid it on its back and tied the bonnet on, tucking the blankets around it and off they set. It wasn't an easy trip, but the warmth of the booze kept them going.
By now it was in the early hours and what a sight it must have been, two men struggling with a pram with the strangest occupant a pram has ever had. Surely if anyone had happened upon them, they would have thought it a very ugly baby. Eventually, with the luck of the Irish and not running into anyone who might inquire upon what they were doing,( to which you can only imagine their answer) they made it to the butcher.
So as harebrained as the scheme was they had got away with it and mutton was enjoyed by all. Now Harry's friend decided a few weeks later to repeat the adventure, but he went on his own (why not have all that tasty meat to himself). This time he strapped the unfortunate animal to the seat of his bike and preceded home. However, this time he wasn't as lucky and chanced upon a strolling policeman. There really wasn't an explanation for what he was doing and so he went to prison for a while.
So Harry's luck held, although he never thought to repeat the trick, the baby got his pram back a little worse for wear, he got his bonnet and his blankets (hopefully after a wash). This wasn't the first of Harry's misadventures nor would it be his last, but it must have been his strangest. So that's the story of the Irishman, the sheep and the pram and every word is true.
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